What the *F* do I know about relationships?
This was my immediate thought when the idea of being a relationship coach popped up in my head. I mean, I’ve been in them but what did I know about the secrets of a lasting relationship? After my first long term relationship in my 20’s, I had enough forward sight to understand that real adult relationships aren’t just fun and games and that they require actual work.
Fast forward through a lot of broken hearts and bad choices; I hadn’t yet figured out what “doing the work” actually meant. Until I met my fiancee.
I have done more growing in our time together than ever before. Being in an alternative relationship definitely brings up your shit faster than anything I’ve ever seen. Triggers galore. The same goes for traditional relationships, romantic or not.
I’ve learned that in order to be the best partner (mother, sister, daughter, friend, etc…), I had to be willing to heal some of my past traumas to be able to see how they were effecting my current relationship. And I needed a partner who could meet me where I was and do their own work, too.
I have learned how to really hear what my partner is saying to me. I have learned how to ask for what I need and how to stick to my boundaries. I have learned to hold space for my partner when something I said or did has upset them.
We are human and still have our issues, but now we know how to work through them with love, respect, and a well manufactured conflict plan. And you know what? I’m happier than I’ve ever been.